I want to get married, but my partner won’t go through it again… | Dear Mariella

Your partner’s intransigence is unfair – but start by examining your own motives, Mariella Frostrup tells a woman who says she’s ‘always wanted to be a wife’

The dilemma My partner and I have been together for three years, have a child together and are trying for a second. He was married before he met me and his divorce was nasty and dragged on for years. It wasn’t finalised until just after the birth of our child. I desperately want to be married, but he does not. I have told him it’s not a deal-breaker – and it isn’t. Marriage does not make a family and us not being married doesn’t mean we don’t love each other any less. He has said that marriage is a big deal and I should respect the reality of what he’s been through.

I can’t really explain why I want it so badly, but I can’t help it. I’ve always wanted to be married, to be a wife, to wear the dress, etc. It eats me up inside that he gave some other woman this commitment but not me, the mother of his child. I feel I’m being selfish and I probably am, but every time the conversation arises I feel hurt. I love this man and want to spend my life with him. Can I have the happily ever after even if we never get married?

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from The Guardian https://ift.tt/2zFBU6G